I hope your alright. I grew up watching my own Mother get abused. It's devastating. Your going to need to decide what your going to do about that coward your with.
Your Husband ( Or whatever he is) is being manipulative to suit his own needs. He can be alright on his own. Anyone can. I'm living proof of that.
Him putting his hands on you is NEVER acceptable & HE will need domestic violence counseling. No two ways around it. And you will need counseling.
Just not together I feel.
With that said.
Here is a link

https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/cri...hoC0vUQAvD_BwE