Yes, I think there is a link. I don't SH but my husband says I am self-destructive in other ways.

I know that attachment issues with my t almost always make me feel worse because they bring up the same scared and needy feelings that I felt as a child. But I believe the reason the attachment is detrimental for me is because my t doesn't use the attachment in the right way to resolve my traumatic issues.

I have, and had, attachment issues with my parents (surprise! surprise!) So when my t encourages an attachment with me, and then wants to explore past traumas where I was in danger or abused, and my parents were not there to protect, soothe, or rescue me, I start feeling the same extreme scared, freaked out feelings I did back then.

The problem is...when I am reminded of those old traumas and feel terrified and in need of rescue/help to stop it, my t is unable to help me. She can't help me because I am feeling the fear and needs of a small child, yet I am a grown adult. Therefore, it is of no use, or even detrimental, for her to prompt those old memories and feelings in my session since we both know darn well by now that she can't rescue me. I am in the same place emotionally as I was when I was a kid, and I need to rescue myself.

Of course, we are not really "in" the old situation, but it doesn't change the "experience" of being in the same situation. It is still just as traumatizing. Try watching a war vet react when they hear a car backfire or they hear fireworks. The fear and emotional reaction don't fit current reality -- they fit the old trauma -- but the experience for the vet is the same.

I guess the t's goal is to re-create that old trauma, but to (hopefully) do it within a safe and structured therapy relationship that, along with imparted coping skills, will lead to a mastering of the situation, rather than a re-creation of abuse and its ugly result. Problem is, it doesn't always work. Therapy can't always provide enough "relationship" or "coping skills" for the patient to move through the trauma to the other side. When that can't happen, it just ingrains the trauma again and again.

Where the subject of "attachment" plays into all this is that the t encourages attachment and gives the impression that they can be depended on at those crisis moments to provide the client with what they need (coping skills, a calm presence, whatever) so that when the "experience" of the trauma happens within the session, this time, there is enough resources for the client to get through the horrible experience without the same desperation and intolerable fear they felt before.

Now comes the BIG IF:

If the therapist does provide what is needed at the time to enable the client to experience and move through the triggered reaction and come out the other side feeling mastery over it, the chances of success are much higher.

BUT if the t has given false hope that they will jump in when the client is obviously unable to manage the traumatic reactions, and then they don't provide enough help to enable the client to master the experience, then both the attachment and the therapist's actions at the time of crisis, have done nothing but repeat the same trauma they are trying to resolve. In that case, it would have been better for the t not to foster attachment or give the client the impression that they have the skills and willingness to resolve the traumas the client brought to therapy.

Where I see that the SUI thinking and SH (or, in my case, feelings of self-hatred) come into the picture is after the therapy has triggered the traumatic experience and the t has failed to manage the process, leaving the client retraumatized. At first, the client may feel intense anger and a sense of being wronged. But within short order, the anger is turned inward and the client begins to feel thoughts such as "I'm a failure and a piece of crap. I don't deserve rescue. I don't deserve to be angry at my t. What I deserve is punishment. I don't deserve to live."