I've only now realized something that happened a very long time ago for what it was. The first girlfriend I ever was serious about broke up with her boyfriend in a note while holding my hand. No wonder she cheated on me all that time. She cheated to be with me. She was the problem then and I just ignored it because I was lonely. Attaching myself to people because of loneliness has destroyed me over the years. This is why I never learned to make good people choices. I started out in a cheater's arms! I can't wrap my head around this other than to be ready to scream. I want to hunt her down to just scream at the top of my lungs at her "what time f--- is wrong with you! Why were you a cheat and why did you let me think I wasn't sufficient for you? You were right! I wasn't what you needed at all! You needed to be alone and more lonely than I have ever felt! You needed someone that didn't care about you! You needed to be with a cheater! You needed to date yourself!"
No wonder I'm so messed up with relationship choices.