Yes. Especially the last two paragraphs. It's fine while I am in the presence of T (any of the Ts I have had)-but then afterward, the feelings stirred up remain and I am (again) alone with them. And then I feel angry and needy.

I don't usually go to "I don't deserve rescue. I don't deserve to be angry at my T", my go-to is that "I have felt this way my whole life, I still feel this way, and I am going to continue to feel this way. And I don't want to live this way." It is painful.

It is hard to go from feeling supported and safe in the midst of those stirred up feelings to away from that support. I know all the stuff about feeling the T support when I am not with them, but honestly, that is not enough. It is all too easy to go to, yeah, T is there and super supportive for 2 hours a week. And T is generous with outside contact because T does want to help. But 2 hours plus some texts and maybe a phone call is still not enough to bring comfort to traumatized me.

That is why I prefer SE, Brain Spotting, EMDR. Those do not stir up my feelings in the same way. I may have some flashes of memory spark up (more with EMDR than the others), but I don't have the intense feelings of need after a session.

While I continue to see T1, to whom I am very attached, if I ever stop seeing him, I will not enter into treatment with another T who encourages attachment.

And, I think attachment to a T is different from transference. They maybe related, but I think they are different.