I know I've been in a similar place so many times and it sucks so badly. Everything is pointless and just plain hard. I'd feel I'd never get out of the darkness. I too have two young boys and they're why I've fought through it every time. I will never be selfish and leave them.

All I can tell you is as bad as it feels it does get better. Sometimes we hit new lows and it tests everything we have in us but it also doesn't last forever. Hang in there and know you're not alone at all.