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I feel slightly more energized today than the last few days. It is intensely negative energy but maybe, maybe my mood will turn too.
I know this will end. But I also know it will come back. Maybe not for a year and a half as it did this time. But it will be back. And I’m tired of living my life this way. I’m only 30.
I have dangerous thoughts but no images so again, maybe it’s an improvement.
My mom still has my meds at least except for the trazodone. Nobody knows I have that. I need it for sleep because I can’t stand to be awake right now. Lying awake at night is ********.
I can’t ruin Christmas, I can’t ruin Christmas, I can’t ruin Christmas.
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real?
-Albus Dumbledore
That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it
f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have.
-Garden State
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