I had one of those rather nasty epiphanies last week, that some things in my teenaged years that I thought were fine, were actually very, very far from fine. I was in emotional turmoil all week and went in today and expressed anger and disgust and sadness and irritation with myself. I felt very clingy and started crying with 15 minutes left for no other reason than that the session would end in 15 minutes. On top of that, tomorrow he's going on some four day meditation retreat where he will be without any electronics -- which I found out during session! -- so I know I can't email him. Even though I most likely would not have, the fact that I can't makes the clingy feelings much worse.

What I do know though is that I always feel really attached when something important is surfacing and being dealt with. I've been through it before, and it's easier to deal with because I can think "Okay, this sucks, but good work! This must be incredibly important stuff!" I know from experience that I will discuss this topic a few more times and the clinginess will fade, and that also makes it easier, knowing it's (at least partially) just temporary.

This feels like a particularly strong round of childlike attachment though. Maybe it gets stronger with each time it happens because I've been seeing him longer. Or maybe it's just that I admit it (even to him today) and don't repress the feelings.