I'm so tired of feeling so reactive. T told me last week that I was neurotic. When he adds another title to the mix, it scares me. He said I am agreeable and that I don't have the disagreeable part. I also don't have the extroversion part, not at all. I call it being pasive, but I like agreeable more.

A few weeks ago my H and I were going out to dinner. He said, Where do you want to go to this place or that place? I told him that it didn't matter. He told me that I needed to tell him what I want instead of being so passive. The thing is, I really didn't have a preference. I don't always have preferences, sometimes I like what either restaurant has to offer. People like the agreeable trait in me, but I'm not so sure that it is such a wonderful trait. It helps me stay under the radar from others' anger. Plus, it strengthens relationships, which leads to fewer negative interactions.

I feel like I am being negative/disagreeable now at work. PRevious T would more than likely label me as being disagreeable. And he'd agree with the negative part.

I texted T to ask for an extra appt. Cue the crickets. . .I am so tired of myself. I wish I could take a vacation away from me.