Anger has taken over. I get raging outbursts. So far I have broken two dishes, and broken with my hand/fist windows. The last window broken caused 3 stitches in my thumb. While part of me says it's no big deal, it will pass, another is frantic to get in the hospital. While other parts feel numb. Lately I feel anxious, get headaches, body aches, extremely high blood pressure, insomnia, paranoia, and dissociation. Therapy appointment tomorrow. Plan on telling T I think I need the hospital. I was just in about a month ago with suicidal/homicidal thoughts. I stayed a week and probably should of stayed as when I got out I was good for a few hours and was right back into my suicidal and homicidal thinking. About 4 days later I felt better and thoughts were gone. However rage is getting me now.
Would you go in the hospital, knowing your DID system has serious issues with the hospital, and will lie to get out? Even though you know hospital is the safest place.