I posted that my DH and I are trying to have a baby. So that’s why I’m going off meds for now. I am feeling kind of helpless right now. I know it’s the going off Lamictal as I went from 200mg to 100. It’s now becoming 1x week that I lose it on my husband & things rapidly escalate. I am all over the board, in my head questioning everything. At times I think it’s not me! It’s everyone else!
Is this mania? What is it. I got really out of hand tonight. I hate myself for it. Even though I wasn’t myself. I worry my neighbors can hear the crazy screaming yelling crying. I hate it. It didn’t happen for months, then suddenly it’s hsppening again & it’s so sneaky I can’t see it coming and my husband can’t either. And I end up blaming him (in the heat of things) and then feel so $hit after. I hope I’m not doomed to a life of this. It makes me wonder if I would be a good mother. Even tho I want a baby so so much. I’m exhausted.