TR, you've a right to boundaries. I'm learning that too since I was not allowed any boundaries.

However badly your H reacts to your boundaries, it does NOT make your boundaries wrong. My parents get angry when I set boundaries and they escalate in order to try to force me to give in.

On the reddit group "raided by narcissists", that escalation is called "an extinction burst".

My T and them tell me that as I keep enforcing boundaries, eventually they'll learn. Or if they won't, there's the option of leaving. Which I know is harder than people say.