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Originally Posted by Caspy
Hey there..
So things happened and I kinda need some support/advice..
I told my school counselor about how my step father would touch me inappropriately from time to time when I was younger. He called CPS and he was removed from my home Wednesday night.
However, CPS wrongfully said that I had 3 planned suicide attempts- But they got it wrong. I said those are 3 plans I would *never* want to do. That those are the worst ideas. Anyways, I was sent to a counselor who recommended I get further evaluation at a mental hospital because apparently my mother is afraid that I may hurt myself or someone else (like my baby brother). And that is just..
I can't believe she would think that. It's never crossed my mind to hurt someone. Never wanted to. Never will. But she told me something in me can "snap" one day and I could.
I asked mom if she believed me. She said "I don't know what to believe anymore honestly."
She said that if I hated them that much then I could have just moved out at the end of the year. I just had 6 months and I could get away from them.
Then she said that now my brother doesn't have a father figure and that I should know how that feels.
I said that if I'm right then isn't it good I said something? Would she be willing to risk having him grow up with someone who did what he did?
She said "I don't know what I'm willing to do anymore."
I admit, I was questioning myself if it actually happened. But after what my mother said? I feel so much anger and now I *know* it happened. And I can't believe she doesn't trust me. She thinks that I could be imagining it because I remember conversations with her that she doesn't remember.
I'm just so scared honestly. What do I do?
My friend is asking her parents if I can move in with them because I'm honestly uncomfortable around my mother as long as she thinks like this.
She doesn't want other people to know about this because it's "embarrassing".
I don't want to do this. I needed her support and belief and I'm not getting it. I think I'm going to testify against my step father as well and I really don't want to do it.
I want out of this house.
Any advice? I feel so alone right now..
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Honestly, I wish I could articulate my thoughts about what's happening to you but they're all over the place because I know what it's like for a parent to not do anything when they find out you've been sexually abused. I'm really sorry your mother is denying everything. It doesn't reflect on you. It reflects on her. Sometimes parents deny childhood sexual abuse because they think they failed as a parent. It's all about them (which is a selfish view, in my opinion).
I'm really glad you spoke up about your abuse to someone you trusted. You deserve justice. I know it's so easy for me to say, "Testify against that dirty excuse for a human being" but it must be so much more complicated than that.
You definitely need a safe space right now. I hope you can chill at your friend's place.
I wish you the very best. If you're comfortable doing so, update us time to time, just so we know you're okay. If you're not comfortable, that's completely cool, too. You have my support.

