Hi guys,

Just got back from an embarrassing night.

Lately, I have been having a lot of worries about my upcoming dream trip and meeting with my girl crush during this trip being ruined by some brand new mental illness. However, this fear has been slightly more controlled. Though I did have a lot of other ROCD obsessions about not loving my girl crush or falling out of love with her. Well, lately the closer I get to my trip the more I worry that everything will be ok and I have been quite worried about OCD.

Well, tonight I had a dinner with my class at university, but a bit before that I started to feel a bit sick. I thought it was from the anxiety brought on by the obsessions. Then later on it persisted but I could still function. Then at some point after drinking one glass I started to feel more anxious and the fact that I was more anxious after drinking led me to having a bit of an anxiety attack. Then I really thought I was going to throw up, which led me to panicking even more. Being emetophobic didn't help with this situation either. I eventually ended up throwing up at some point in front of nearly everyone.

Now I am quite worried and defeated. If OCD really caused this then I am truly screwed !! There really is no hope left for me! I have learned to manage most of my symptoms through the 4 steps from Brain Lock, but obsessive fears that are based on possible future scenarios are difficult to get rid of. ​