Quote:
Originally Posted by fille_folle
@LT I'm glad to hear you're looking at the situation critically - and I understand what you're saying about needing to leave because you're asserting yourself, rather than running away. Two years is a long time to suffer like this, but it sounds like building a relationship with your new T has helped bring some clarity to the situation. I experienced a similar relationship more than ten years ago, and I can still vividly recall how painful it was... so seeing posts here from people struggling with their T's in this way really tugs at my heart. Thanks for not getting defensive with what I said, I was motivated by understanding the confusion and hurt that this causes you rather than judgement.  |
Thanks, FF. Actually, now that I think about it (looking at my PC join date, Feb. 2015, since I joined to deal with transference stuff), it's been more like 3 years...As it sounds like you understand, it can just be so confusing because there's so much warmth and caring and acceptance that I'm looking for from him...but then it's within not only the bounds of a therapeutic relationship, but also marriage counseling. So much of it has been him talking about how healing working through transference can be--saying I should stay because then I can see that he's not abandoning me. It's like he's keeping me hooked, almost like an addiction. Sort of like, "You need to stay here with me to get better, to overcome the issues that led to the transference. If you leave, you're losing your big chance to work through this stuff from your past." (I'm sure he would disagree, but that's what it feels like...)