Another journal-like entry:

I fell SO hard for my ex and SO fast.

I thought he was a good-hearted, GOOD, decent, kind person initially. He wrote on this other forum about people who were suffering and how it broke his heart. He supported me through my breakup, he lifted me up and helped to empower me to leave and to feel better.

Then he turned out to NOT be a good person AT ALL. Not whatsoever, as we all know and as I have detailed to all of you.

I don't know how I fell in love with him SO hard and SO fast. We related on many different levels very quickly, and we related on deeper levels. We talked on the phone until I went to sleep. We would talk for long periods of time on the phone when we first met.

Love should be slower to develop, yes? True love takes time, right? You have to really get to know a person IN FULL, ALL sides of them, right? And that takes time, right?

I wonder.. maybe I wasn't fully in love with my ex. I don't know now. It sure felt like true love in the beginning.

And I say all of this, without fully knowing. It IS possible to fall in love quickly, I think. But maybe true, lasting love is slower to develop to fruition. Just pondering.