My dependent part is terrified. It is afraid that you are going to push me out of the nest before I am ready.

I suspect that my independent part is angry because I am so dependent which is so painful. This part of me might be angry, I feel that there is something afoot within me. But it's just a feeling along with the fact that I keep wondering if you are angry at me or if you want to get rid of me. I can imagine I might be angry with you but I can't imagine wanting to get rid of you. I suspect I am projecting, though, but have no idea. I feel like I am going completely insane.

It's like two warring polar opposites who have different ideas and can't compromise.

You were very obvious about looking at your watch four times and I don't know what that means outside of you couldn't wait to rid yourself of me and go home. It felt horrible and hurt. Can't you just tell me what you are trying to convey so I can actually either experience the hurt and get it over with versus feeling like I'm insane and/or totally confused. It makes things seem unreal and I am doubting my emotional experience.

So my compromise with myself is that I am going to go to every other week starting this Summer. However, when I start back to work, I want to temporarily go every week. I have no idea if this is real. I have no idea if I really am compromising with myself or if I am just crazy. It feels like an accurate depiction, though.

I notice that you aren't validating how I feel/what I think regarding the stupid work book (and something else but I don't remember what), but instead you are telling me how other people at work are validating what I think/feel. I finally figured this out, and it has been driving me crazy This is why I need the words to describe/understand what is going on within me. It's like I need you to validate how I feel, I can't do this myself. This was an interesting realization. Unfortunately, it feels like I am being punished for getting better.