I don't know your "her", but speaking as the "her" of another person...

If hubby relapses, he worries about me being disappointed/upset/etc. and that places so much more stress on him. You made a mistake...it happens. Fix it from here. Decide what you want to do or not so and do it for you. If you're happy...the ones that love you will probably be happy for you too. I know I would

(((((marko))))) Good luck.