Hi ZedsDead, I agree with you that leaving your partner and staying away is huge. You should be proud of that because it is a hard thing to do. Many people struggle with that part. I also think it's great that you want to focus on healing yourself, for yourself and your kids! That is wonderful, pat yourself on the back for that, too, because some people don't have the awareness that they need to heal, or the desire.

In terms of books for finding out who you are, learning about yourself, and on social anxiety, I'm not entirely sure what you're looking for, but there are a LOT of books on stuff like that, programs, and online resources too. I would honestly suggest a google search, or looking in the self help section of your library or bookstore.

I will tell you, for a long time, I also didn't really know who I was. I didn't know things like, what I wanted. What I truly liked as opposed to what I wish I liked...I really had to sort that stuff out. Maybe journaling might help you. It helped me. Also, I would gently tell you, that this kind of stuff, you might find that it takes a while to get to where you want to be, some days. Other days, you might find you're making more progress. So be kind and gentle to yourself, and remember that this kind of work takes patience and persistence.

Have a great night. You're doing wonderful work, Zedsdead.