Quote:
Originally Posted by emgreen
I've been sinking, too, graystreet. This may be way out in leftfield, but I live in Michigan, as well...& November is the cloudiest month here, & add to that the time change at the beginning of the month leaves little daylight after 4:00. I hope your trip takes you someplace sunny...& warm would be nice, too, since we have 10" of snow. Chin up...& maybe get a light box. I'm not fully convinced they work, but they sure don't hurt in this dark, gray place called Michigan.
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Not going anyplace sunny and warm...going to Scotland, actually. For Hogmany, a big NYE party. Going alone, because no friends.
I'm just so tired of being sad and alone.
I honestly don't know if he cares about me or not. Part of me thinks he's just not really that into me, and that he just talks to me because I'm there, and he's bored. The other part thinks that he has put up with a lot, and is still trying to be there. But he's not very good at being there. Right now, he's upset with my displayed hostility and still has me blocked from everything, he says, "Until we see how I do over text." To me, this hurts and feels very demeaning and I've told him as much. I've told him that it feels as though he is being stubborn and controlling. I said that I understand where he is coming from, but I feel there are other, more constructive ways to handle things. We said we were going to talk about boundaries (haven't had a chance to, yet) and I named the blocking as one of mine, that I cannot tolerate this as it feels as though I'm being punished, and even abandoned. I'm 39 years old, not his child to discipline. I said it hardly seems fair that he can have boundaries but I cannot? Unless they fit with how he sees things?
He hasn't responded, but I know he has friends over, so I'll be patient (this was all said tonight). I don't really know if it's worth trying to work out at this point. But I'll not be treated like a 5 year old. I can't respect myself if I let myself continue a friendship in that way.