When I was four to five years old my father left for a time, came back and then left again. That was my earliest memory of trauma and it was pretty intense. Soon after, I started having intense mood changes and when I was like this I was very mean, very vengeful, sometimes violent and full of hate. It wasn't until I was a teenager that this evil alter named himself. While doing a lot of thinking some years back I finally realized that that is where he came from. The dread that my father would leave a second time and the fact that this fear was realized when he did was too much for my fragile child's mind and I cracked. I believed for a long time once I discovered that it was a part of DID that what had actually happened was that I had suddenly found that my perception of the world was incorrect, that the world or life itself was actually a very unpleasant and ugly thing and if I were to survive I would have to recreate or redesign myself to become a more durable self that could handle all of this. But, psychology doesn't describe it that way so, I have abandoned that idea but, it's still an interesting way to look at it. Anyway, I was already self aware by that point and already had OCD as early as three and possibly other problems that I'd inherited on my mother's side as she too had a lot of obvious mental problems. As far as having personalities that are abusive toward you, my first alternate or what I call my dark alternate hates my guts and he doesn't mind letting me know that either. He calls me "a weakling" as well as other unkind things.