I have NO idea who I am, what I need or what is going on inside of my head but I'm so devastated. I feel like I'm making decisions for myself but I don't have all the information I need. I am lost and confused, nothing new. There is no coherent me, just intellectualizing in hopes of solving the problem of Who am I?

If you know who I am, please let me know. I might not be a me. I am stuck between trying to figure out what you might want me to do and trying to appease my dependent part so I am not in so much pain. I am a big nothing trying to pass for a human. and failing.

Am I driving you crazy? I feel like such an ingrate. I feel like I am going completely insane, I feel like I am an unsolvable problem. I am merely a conundrum. I need to get out of my head somehow. I need to escape this mass confusion. I hate being so preoccupied, I feel like I am not okay. I truly don't have a self.