I have talked with my T about what I do and do not know about her and about what I do and do not want to know about her. I find it helpful in getting to know my own "social sense of self," if that makes sense. She has told me some things I have wanted to know, but not everything. Sometimes I can tell that she is probably giving me the very short and/or uncomplicated version of what I asked about, but I feel okay with that. She tends to err on the side of not sharing about herself, but she is somewhat flexible.

I think talking about this kind of thing has helped clarify for me what the therapeutic relationship is and what it isn't. I told her a while back that some clients probably wish they could be friends with her, but that I didn't. It took me a while to figure out why I felt that way (and why I said it out loud to her!), but it actually provided a really important insight to me about what I need from her. This is why I think nothing should be off-limits to talk about in therapy.