Thank you for your replies, they are much appreciated. It's difficult to explain what is 'wrong because there is so much and the things very from being really big to really small.

We don't have enough common interests in life for me. It always seems to be me coming up with suggestions as to what to do but he rarely wants to do any of them. My suggestions are things like going to the zoo or to the local living history type museums or to castles or exhibits or the theatre or for a walk or to the beach or to the cinema. He says he doesn't mind me going to these places but I can count on one hand how many times we have done these things together in the last year. He wants to play golf or go shopping, or shooting. We do go out for dinner sometimes. He mainky.likes to go to the pub, which I dont. I find just sitting and talking to 'strangers' really difficult and I often find small talk pointless. I like deep meaningful converstaion, but I don't get it.

I find him very difficult to talk to. Things I say about me or about things are often met with one syllable responses which then cuts.me down. I do try to continue sometimes but it's like a brick wall the other side. He loves to talk about himself though, and turns most conversations that way eventually.

I want to interact with my life partner of an evening too by playing board games together or even computer games or by cooking or baking or something. I would even be happy snuggled up on the sofa each reading our own books or watching tv or film together but we don't, we do these things seperately.

And apart from all the things that we don't do together, there is his sense of humour. I find that it can be rude and did, and have asked him many times to save these things for his friends, but he continues to show me pictures and videos that his friends have sent him. I really don't like them. He often says that I have no sense of humour but that really isn't true. I do find things funny and I do laugh, and my friends laugh with me, but our two senses are so far apart that we don't make each other laugh at all anymore it seems.

I find him judgemental of other people as we are out and about where I am tolerant of all.

I find him brash and aggressive sometimes where he finds me oversensitive.

I don't like the way he speaks to me, calls me 'mush' and says 'oi' a lot. Doesn't say please and thank you. I know we are married but that doesnt mean manners go out of the window in my opinion.

He doesn't like to help out with the housework, though he has been doing a little more over the last couple of years.

We sleep in different bedrooms because he goes out drinking and wets the bed. We have different living rooms because he likes to live in a hovel and doesn't keep it even remotely tidy.

I feel like I could just go on and on.

Things have seemed to improve in the last 2 years though, and it is this thst is csusimg me doubt, though these small changes and these slight improvements have not changed my underlying feelings. I think there may be too much resentment, too much dislike.

It sunk in the other day, I think, when we were talking about having children. We have often brought it up in conversation but I have never felt that I wanted children with him, though I do want them for myself. I know that isn't right. He said that He didn't want to change his lifestyle. I talked about how sometimes, when people are put in certain situations they step up to the plate, and said that maybe if we had children he would want to change his lifestyle (drinking, socialising most nights, smoking, not wanting to go and see and do thinhs etc) and he said he didn't think it would make him want to.

For me I want him to want to change, for us, but I accept that if he doesn't then that's fine, but I don't want to be with this person how he is right now. I want something better for myself and I would definitely want something better for my family if ever I did have one.