It sounds to me like you need to learn how to "trust" yourself more and slowly make gains in that area so you don't have to run to a place that you think is supposed to help you feel safer, when it's really more about you learning how to feel safe with SELF more on your own. Also, when it comes to anger, what helps is acknowledging the anger, but more importantly learning what is triggering this anger to pop up in you.

I know it can be challenging because I had to learn what triggered my own anger and also what in my own history was connected to this anger trigger coming forward in me. I have learned that a lot of the anger triggers I experienced came from how my boundaries were being disrespected that definitely goes way back to my childhood years. I was traumatized a lot as a child and these traumas always revolved around how I either witnessed or personally experienced someone treating me or another individual in ways that did not respect their personal boundaries and how I was too young to know how to better protect my own boundaries or the boundaries of someone else that I was witnessing suffering a lot of abuse.

Also, when it comes to having a disassociation identity issue, it's important to understand that pretty much ALL human beings do this to some extent. It's something human beings learn to do in order to create a sense of distance from whatever is in their environment that they have no idea what to do about or fix. It's similar to sitting down and taking a multiple question test where a person comes across a question they don't have an answer to, so they skip over that question to see if they can answer the next question. If a child is sitting in a room playing and suddenly his parents begin shouting at each other and the child has no idea WHY or how to stop it, the child will learn to tune that out and sit and play with his toys because that's something he/she knows how to do. What can take shape from that is how that child begins to learn how to disassociate when his parents scream and fight with each other and what can happen is that this child not realizing it continues to practice this over many years of experiencing this kind of dysfunction in his environment. So, with that a part of that individual unknowingly doesn't get to grow and develop more skills where he actually learns how to react in a way that deals better with being exposed to that kind of situation displayed by others.