When I look back, overall it's always been a rough patch. Almost nothing's ever been short of a failure. And I have owned failure in every respect. Ask everyone that knows me. I hate this. I can't even die, if all the attempts I've made throughout my life are any indicator. So then, why try? I'm angry right now, I imagine everything as if it were on fire, myself too, to burn in this hell I've created by being a total casualty of a life. It's pathetic the amount of intelligence I supposedly have and how little I used it. It's worse all the pain bipolar me has caused in my existence, not a true life. I wish I had meds to turn off my head. I just want to turn completely off from everything and be no kind of interference with anyone or anything else.