i just cant get over them. I have never been as close to anyone as my ex and my therapist and i used to latch on to everything that came out of my exes mouth. I just couldn't help it. If she woke up in the morning and looked sleepy or didn't smell perfect, i would be really uncomfortable for a whole month. I realised that i have been doing this for all my life, only when i got into therapy. My previous therapists have not been of much help as i have only recently begun understanding myself. It is so painful for me to be close to someone that i wish that i had never met my T.

The other day, my T made a mistake in english grammar. English is our second language and i just couldn't get over it. Immediately the worst scenarios started coming to my mind. What if my T didn't really understand what i was saying in english, which obviously is not the case. What if she doesnt like me. I keep asking her if she hates me or if she will leave me. Life is so tiring.