It helps me to read these kinds of threads. Funny how each of us is struggling w/these same male-female issues in many the same way and yet so different as well.

I am small, petite and very curvy. I like being a girl and I like feminine things.......BUT...........because of my "relationship" with my father (who disappeared when I was 12), I have felt tortured by my femininity. So, I go thru these bizarre times when I wear "boy" clothes that are way too big. I wear bras that push me down etc. I have even gone so far as having my hair cut like a boy during these phases. I don't think anybody honestly thinks I am male, but there sure are times I'd like a chance to carry the "family jewels"

It infuriates my mother ( like most everything I do) and she makes snide remarks about my sexuality etc. During the years I was battling infertility (my daughters are adopted), she would say things about "God knowing the truth" etc. I'm still not exactly sure if she thinks I'm a "closet lesbian" , a transexual wannabe or what. I think I am basically a heterosexual, screwed-up female. But......ya never know, there's always tomorrow.