Hi MoxieDoxie
I will be turning 50 in February and finally got my BPD diagnosis last year although to be truthful have been BPD since 13 years of age. The diagnosis was considered in my 30's but just never followed through on, and then life happened and I moved away. But the events of the past 5 years has made me need to really figure out what was up with me, and then after a toxic and devastating ending to a relationship with a man, I needed to really understand what was going on, and the diagnosis was just obvious. I struggled initially because I was filled with such shame and hopelessness that it seemed to me that I would be alone for the rest of my life, because who would want me know? Anyways, there is a worry on my part that I am stuck and destined to be this way forever, because after 50 years, what is the likelihood of getting better? I struggle with a sense of hopelessness, and turning 50 is hard enough, but to do so while feeling so ashamed of what I am is even harder.