Most of 2017 was dark for me. When I wasn’t at worked I slept. I slept all day on my days off and hurting. I was close to being hopeless and not wanting to live. Hell I probably was at that point. After several harassment from my treatment team, friends and a couple co workers I sought more help.
Today I’m feeling hopeful. I’m not where I want to be and I accept it. I accept it because I’m hopeful, willing and full of affirmations that I will succeed. I know two more humps coming (xmas and my birthday). Will it be like anything I always dream or prefer, definitely not. However I have the tools, determination and will to make 2018 a happy year. I will once again “live”.

I’m determined to live my life and not wait till I lose this weight. Their is no reason I can’t enjoy myself now. I want to experience and enjoy the new path. I am going to love myself.

I got my sights set to go to Thailand. I’ve started training and hope the next five months I will shed some lbs and be fitter, healthier. When I get to Thailand, I will be in good shape and when I leave I be coming back with experience, a reunion with an old college buddy and more at peace.

Then summer. I am looking forward to enjoy the summers I haven’t lived in a long time.