Thanks for sharing. As you feeling needy is one of the reasons I ruminate about therapy sessions and often I feel I shouldnīt let a therapist or another health carer become so important to me that it for example feels difficult to leave.
I agree it's helpful to talk things through about feelings and why leaving a session (or another situation) makes one feel sad or similar. But in this case with the therapist this thread is about I donīt know if she works with such therapy methods at all. I could for sure mention how I felt to her but I donīt think she would be able to support me or that she could meet me on a deeper level.
What I mean is that itīs not of so much use just telling a therapist how I felt if he or she canīt respond in a proper way and work on it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mostlylurking
[ETA: Sorry, not trying to hijack this thread, just wanted to give an example that might be useful?, about seemingly confusing or unwarranted emotions.]
Hi Sarah, I know it's not exactly what you were asking, but the last time I saw my T I also got emotional about having to leave. Quite emotional -- I cried several times, even though I'm seeing him next week as usual!  It may have seemed a bit silly or I might have felt embarrassed but I've had this happen before. I was able to admit that it was because I was going to have to leave.
He pointed out that I had been discussing some harmful things that my parents didn't know were going on when I was a teenager, and I probably had wished that I had had a caring adult to help me. The fact that he was going to be unreachable for a few days (due to a retreat) was perhaps making me feel like no caretaking adult would be available for my younger self. So his impending absence was pulling up those feelings of being alone and a bit overwhelmed, that I had perhaps had as a kid.
All of this made a ton of sense! I did feel very young and needy. As a teenager I probably did feel a bit bereft. But if I had covered up my emotions, tried to hide them or made an excuse about them, he and I would never have had this insight. It can be really hard to just let emotions come out, especially when they seem to make no sense, but often you can figure out their real origins and that's incredibly helpful.
Like you I do tend to ruminate, and I intellectualize also as a kind of defense mechanism (it distances me from emotions). If rational thought could solve all one's psychological issues I'd never have needed therapy, but alas, it doesn't work that way. Our emotions are valid, and if they seem irrational or unwarranted, it's because they aren't truly about the surface of things, they are tapping into something beneath the surface. It can be so valuable to just let them come out, and explore what they might really be about. I think you've felt in the recent past like your therapy had stagnated, and maybe it could get things started again if you explored some of your emotional or personal feelings? I make this suggestion out of personal experience. I hated having feelings I could not rationally explain, but letting them come out has been the most useful part of therapy for me. |