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mandyfins said:
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The fact is that they now feel that they have to protect you because you haven't change the situation.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> You know, I've been just recently noticing this in them. They ask me with such concern-- how *I'm* doing... when I think they shouldn't be wondering that at their age.
wow- How did you know they were like that? you are quite insightful!
>>> Been there. Dad was an abusive alcoholic.Mom gave him a choice "US" or the "ALCOHOL". We were lucky, he chose "US". But this kind of decision isn't always so easy. Especially, for you who's living with it daily. I know how your kids are feeling because I saw the abuse my father could inflict when drunk. I was very young but I never forgot. As a child I looked at my mother wondering why she is still letting it continue? I was too young to understand.

Your kids are concerned for your welfare. You're their mother. They know how hard it is. They may be afraid to tell you how they really feel. But if/when you make a decision about your future I'm sure they'll be there for you. To help you adjust to the changes.

My mother had me young. She was never alone until Dad died and I moved out. When she first started dating I was spooked. The man she chose..was an alcoholic. I knew it from the day I met him. Didn't like him. Beg her to get away from him. She did..just in time..he showed his temper once(not on my mother, thank god!). She began dating another man, he was a previous drug addict and alcoholic...Lord, I wanted to cry....He's clean...but it makes me nervous. But all has been well. No problems. They are happy. WHEW! >>>>

However, this makes me feel even more guilty.... man, is that pathetic?? I don't know...... it all is confusing and just makes me feel so very bad all around.

>> You are not pathetic. You love him. There's nothing wrong with loving him. It's just the alcohol and the changes in him that you don't love. But you are supporting it. Not because you want to. You've been conditioned over time to just accept it as it is. Do you think you and he could attend any support groups? Would he go? Or can you go alone? You need to have a place you can feel safe and vent openly. Find your way and not have to feel alone. There are so many other people going through this too. Reach out. >>>>

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You have a lot of decisions to make.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> yea, ugh..... I know. am also so scared........

thank you for replying..... I wish I could have all of you guys in my home with me when I get to shaking about this all......

thank you-- everyone.

mandy

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>>> {{{{HUGS}}}} MANDY !!
You've been strong for a long time. Reaching out is the best thing you can do. I hope he doesn't use the computer often and see your private thoughts. Be Careful. Find a support group. And please email me anytime.
Make 2008 your year!!
Blessings & Prayers
Ocean13