Well, I've often been my own worst critic, so in my mind the interview didn't go well. An impartial observer not full of self-doubt, however, would probably say it went well. It certainly didn't go badly, but I could have done better.

Thing is pretty much as soon as I left the building my anxiety level went up, because I had envisioned myself just blowing them out of the water and sealing the deal. All I could think of after that was if I don't get this job I am going to be in trouble because I am running out of money and I'd rather sell my internal organs on the black market than have to ask my old man for financial help.

So the rest of Friday was fairly rough for me. I was texting friends who were telling me they were sure I did fine, etc. But when I tried to find someone I could hang out with nobody was available as usual. Yesterday I thought I could take my mind off things by going to the new Star Wars, but even then my thoughts kept drifting back to "What am I going to do if I don't get the job? What am I going to do?!"

On a side note, I was texting a friend afterwards and I told him it didn't help that the film was so dark and grim. He responded that he didn't find it either dark or grim, and that my anxiety over my situation was probably coloring my view of the movie.

One thing I've been trying to keep in mind is that they aren't just looking for a single person for this job, they're hiring a group of people, and my friend who works there said they are going to need a lot of people for all the openings they expect to have. Even then, though, I keep obsessing over the interview and thinking, "Why didn't I do this? Why didn't I say that?"

They told me I will know this week... if I get an email from them, I'm pretty much in; if no email, then... well, you know. This is going to be an agonizing week. And right before the holidays on top of it.

As a back-up plan I should really apply for some other jobs I was looking at but I just don't have the energy.