This post is not just about grief and loss.....it's more related to wondering how to cope with lack of support....

I went to the graveyard today to put a grave blanket down for my former boyfriend. His family has still not been in contact with me. I am the one that knew the most about what was going on with him up until he died though. He told me so much that nobody else knew, and I knew he was heart broken and felt like a failure at the end of his life.

It gave me comfort going to the graveyard. Nobody even put anything down on his grave, and there was just a temporary marker. I am glad I put something down for him. I'm not going to let anybody take

I have been avoiding telling people, since it is hard to talk about. One friend I reached out to who knew the ex wife did not know he died (she was her hair stylist). Another friend who did not know him, I texted her about it today and told her I have been depressed.

Her response via text...."Don't be depressed. It's not even like you were even with him for years and years. He had some problems so you shouldn't be surprised." It's not even that I am trying to get people to feel sorry for me. I just want respect. Maybe that's too much to ask for?
My other friend that I am now okay with was supportive, but then nasty to me out of nowhere (unrelated, but still, pretty crappy to do that to someone who just had a big loss). This friend and I are ok now, but it hurt. My mom has also said some insensitive things to me, undermining what me and him shared, out of disappointment that I was so-called "mixed up with someone who I shouldn't have been." She expects me to be someone that I am not: white picket fence, married, kids, perfect guy with lots of money.

Since it is close to Christmas and I have work (pdoc thought about writing me out of work on temporary medical leave, but I am taking a break by using my vacation time for 10 days and will go from there). I am unable to see my therapist until right after Christmas, so I am just trying to keep it together.

How do you deal with insensitive comments towards you, stigma, and high expectations placed on you to so-called "be normal"??