So I go back to T today.

I just have no interest in going. Not a shred of desire to see him.
In fact, I think he's a jerk right now.

I'm thinking that although we healed this rupture, it has left a scar.
I don't think I trust him anymore. Can I continue to get what I need out of this relationship?

My mood right now is one that leads to problems. I am like a wounded animal. It will take a long time for me to warm up to T today. By the end of the session, I will begin to trust again. Then he will say it is time to stop and I will be sad because I didn't have the chance to say anything I needed to.

Then I will cry because I am hurt. This sounds rally messed up to me. It doesn't sound healthy. What is the *******ed point of this. I'd rather lay on the couch and watch a movie. Maybe a comedy for a change. I live too much drama.