I'm 45 and was first diagnosed at age 18. I'm "high functioning" but that's only because I decided at age 18 not to have relationships with men because they are too chaotic and emotionally gut wrenching for me. I was able to put my energies into my career instead.

Now I'm 45, was re-diagnosed with BPD at age 42, and I'm wondering if I'll ever be able to find someone to share my life with in some way (not necessarily marriage). I feel hopeless sometimes but I've improved vastly with intensive psychotherapy.

I struggle with emptiness the most, I think. I also have major depression and struggle with self harm urges (although it's been over a year since I gave in to them). The overwhelming intensity of my emotions has dialed down considerably since I started therapy. I can also handle them better when they rear their ugly heads.

ETA some issues with impulsive behavior as well but again these have improved with treatment and meditation.