I am trying not to take it personally, but why does it seem like whenever I am having a rough time, God or the universe or whoever decides to fuuck with me just for fun. It's like someone up there is holding a magnifying glass over me trying to light me on fire!!!

I know it's irrational thinking but it just feels sometimes like the entire world is not on my side. I'm trying not to freak the fuuck out at the moment. My parents are coming up to visit starting on Wednesday and I still have the whole house to finish cleaning and get ready.

I started working on laundry today bc I have lots of loads and can't really clean until it's done and put away. I was actually feeling good about my small accomplishment. And then it all turned to shiit. In the midldle of a load, the wAsher decides to die. The water won't drain. I have a pile of sopping wet clothes now sitting in the tub that I took out of the washing machine. It's too wet to put in the dryer. Really??? You have got to be fuucking kidding me?!

I rent my place but my landlord is like 90+ and lives in another state, so I'm kind of on my own when something breaks. Last time I needed to call a plumber he just had me take the cost off the rent that month. But that means I need to find a solution to this myself. I googled it and tried to fix it but that was a bust. So I called sears service dept and they are coming tomorrow. So I have to take a 1/2 day off of work to be there, sometime bet 1 and 5 pm...

To be honest I want to just give up now. Climb into bed and stay there for good. I don't think I'm mentally equipped to deal with any more surprises. I just wish it wasn't always me versus the universe. It would be nice to actually have somebody else there on my side for once. I'm so tired.