Quote:
Originally Posted by cielpur
I have definitely experienced the "push back" from the domineering people I've been assertive with. Each time I asserted myself, I'd notice they would immediately resort to more gaslighting techniques, more threats, and shaming.
A lot of people have exited my life when I finally decided to be assertive with them and establish my boundary that I will say "no," to their requests, and I will confront them when they act like jerks to me, to let them know that that is not ok.
But it is difficult. Finding people who like and respect me for who I am has always proved challenging. I'm no longer willing to put up with what I used to put up with from people. I can't "fake it til you make it," with people, so maybe that is my downfall.
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I understand what you mean. When you first start being assertive it feels like... [emoji848]... like a personality transplant. Haha! Even though you’re still “you”. But where once you’d be passive, you’re assertive. And that’s a whole different feeling. And you get a WHOLE DIFFERENT reaction from others. Aggressive people push back. Manipulative people gaslight and try guilt tripping you. Once people pleasing is not the main objective people tend to start disappearing.
But the thing is, we are not put on this earth to be dancing bears for others in some sort of circus. That’s how people pleasing made me feel. Like I was personally responsible for the joy and happiness and entertainment of everyone around me.
Assertiveness helps us to find the people who truly respect us. And to be able to pin point the people who really DON’T respect us in our life. Then we are able to gravitate towards the ones who DO respect us.
:lifeskill :highfive!
HUGS!!!