I do really well with my T when we ease off the core of severe trauma issues. My perspective widens, and I see him as a wonderful professional doing good work, bright , insightful, trustworthy, sensitive, and a teeny but of a show off.

He is a bit flexible, and has slightly let me have a say in how the session goes, though in the main, his boundaries define his practice. He is one of the most strict T's from reading here and comparing. Usually, I feel like he cares, in the sense of he cares very much about his work and I am part of his work .

Then it all goes wrong when we go 6 weeks, 2 sessions a week on some harrowing trauma. I struggle with coping resources to face the past without defenses , I can't sleep, I have nightmares, and I end up feeling like he pushes me too hard in session. Add to that what I perceive as a " c ya wouldn't want to be ya attitude", like a frat boy not calling the next day, in which he nods in empathy at the horrors he gets me to confide , and then goes to Disney with his kids or whatever. These are times I hate therapy , and start to see him as not caring, not being responsibly, eliciting too much material and then leaving me without a net. He is very strong and boundaried. I would just never dare ( or even want?) to call him between sessions, although he does let me email right before my session so I feel less scared on the way in.

My ups and downs with my T relate to how hard we push on the kind of prolonged exposure to trauma memories. I think though, deep in my heart I have decided to trust him. I always have an awareness of how very just intelligent he is, and it uplifts the process. I would like to have my T be more like some of yours and just care more- call and check in, say sorry once in a while- but that isnt his practice. He is very much you are my 9 to 10, you are not my friend , not my family, and not even my 10 to 11. I have a lot of friends and social support in a way, but I have kept all my childhood a secret until this T, my first T. So it really does hurt that he doesnt seem to care all that much once session is over, though he is prepared and engaged for session unfailingly. We are peers on paper, outside of session, with a lot in common educationally, background wise etc, but in therapy that matters not. I feel it is a power play or a mind game at times.