I'm new here and just found your post and am wondering how you are doing now after getting off your meds?

My similar story: Was on SSRI, Xanax and sometimes gabapentin for 8 years and never thought I'd be off them. Dabbled with Wellbutin and escitalopram as a better mix than fluoxetine, but that didn't work well. However, as I titrated down I felt better and better until I was at zero dosage. All done through my PDoc. At zero, I decided to try that for awhile and it has now been 4 months off everything.

It's been easy. I can feel again, emotionally and physically...can cry in a Hallmark movie, and yet have no mood changes or depression (major depressive disorder) or suicidal problems. I don't have nightmares or flashbacks (chronic PTSD), but do sleep less but well. Seven hours vs. 13 and have more energy in the day off meds than on. Oddly, I haven't had OCD symptoms worth mentioning.

In those 8 years on meds, I went through CBT, learned to meditate, and studied various psychological techniques per my diagnoses, took an online year's class called compassioncourse.org and apply them accordingly. Studies show that SSRI can calm down the brain circuitry enough for the hippocampus to enlarge again and provide short term memory. I think that happened to me.

I am 70 so don't know if that makes a difference in how easy it was to get off meds(?). I needed meds after I had my breakdown at age 62 and am surprised as anyone that I am now off meds because I never had a gripe with them; however, now that I am off meds I can see the difference in my feeling levels: I am less numb now. The wellness tools learned in those 8 years have given me a useful 'go to' place, but it took meds first for me to get to that place of learning. For that I am thankful.

I hope you are doing well.