First of all, I need to send a THANK YOU shout-out to key tones for reminding me to send a follow-up email! In all the anxiety I had completely forgotten about that. Only thing now is I'm not totally sure how to get it to the people I actually talked to; my friend who works there is looking into that as we speak.

I should also mention that part of the reason I was so upset over the weekend (and still kinda am now) is that at this point it now feels like things are going to be hopeless even if I do get it. That's because I was looking forward to getting out of this state, but as I stated in the OP, I really can't even afford to move right now. Talk about a rock and a hard place. I guess we'll just have to see what this week brings.

There's also a certain amount of "buyer's remorse," if you will. I'm so resistant to change that even when I get what I want it feels like a bad thing; like I hate having any kind of commitment. I always assumed I would "grow out of it" but here I am, pulling 40 and still suffering from it.

For now I'm going to apply for a few more things in this area just in case.