Hi there. I hope everyone had a good start to the week.

I'm currently really angry right now and when I'm angry my anxiety skyrockets.

I have a therapist (today was my last session with her because she's leaving to focus on her private practice). My apartment always gets mice during the winter because we live in a huge city.

I talked to my therapist about that because having mice really bothers for personal reasons. I told my mom about the suggestion she gave me for how to handle the mice. My mom says, "...You spoke to her about the mice?" I said yea because it really bothers me. She looked really uneasy and shocked and I said, "What, you're afraid that she'll think you're a dirty person?" She actually said yes, she was afraid of being judged. Mind you, I told the therapist that we're very clean and she said she completely understood because sometimes she gets mice, too.

Now, that's my therapist, not my mom's. I told my mom that I can't talk to her about some things and that's why I have a therapist. She said she didn't mean anything malicious by what she said and I said, "I never said your intentions were malicious." She got angry and walked away.

Now...I'm pretty pissed off. I was having a great day and she absolutely ruined it.

My issue is that my mom (and my entire family) is all about appearances. My grandma was quite abusive to me as a child and I told my mom some things she did to me (the molestation and stuff). She refused to tell my grandma to go back to her home country because she's afraid other people will think she's a bad daughter. So instead my grandma is still living with us.

I just got a job and I can't wait to start saving up so I can move out but I really can't deal with her self-consciousness. I know I sound mean but no matter how much I tell her that she's a good person, she just doesn't listen to me...What really got to me was the therapist thing. This isn't the first time she's been self-conscious about something I told my therapist that had absolutely nothing to do with her.

I know I shouldn't take it personally but I can't help it.

How do you deal with a parent who is so self-conscious that they put your needs below their self-consciousness? I don't know if that makes sense but that's the best way I can phrase it. Thank you.