I'm not sure how long you've been seeing your T but I'm entering two years and still struggle with this.

However, we turned a corner last night. I've learned for me that opening my heart to him tells him how I feel. He is receptive to that and we click.

We are both learning continously about each other. Therapy is definitely a complex process. Hang in there!

I say write your feelings down, write T a letter. Take it to your next session and see what happens.