Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazy Hitch
Hmmmm as a parent, who had a rat (yet alone mouse) bought into my house on more than one occasion by my cat ... it's not a pretty sight.
Out of context, I would be mortified if someone heard that my house had a rat - without knowing the story in context.
I would genuinely have had the same reaction as your mother initially did if one of my kids told me they had told xyzzy we had a rat in our place.
Obviously your therapist gets it, but I guess your mother just needed some assurance that she got it.
Unfortunately they do carry all sorts of who knows what and have quite a stigma. Don't take her reaction to heart. I think you're reading too much into it  |
I live in one of the biggest (if not the biggest) and dirtiest places in the US so almost everyone has mice issues, including my therapist, which is why I was happy to talk to her. Because I figured she would have some advice for me. So Thanks...? I still think my feelings are valid, though. I can go on and on about my entire family and give you reasons why I'm taking it to heart but that would literally take all day. I honestly feel bad for posting because I feel like I'm being judged. I made a mistake posting this. I wish I could delete it because now I just feel embarrassed. If you're saying that I was wrong then maybe I was wrong.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hvert
Do you think your mother is getting anxious when you bring up conversations you've had with your therapist because she starts to worry that you're talking about her? I might stop mentioning my therapist to my mother, not sure that's a good approach, but avoidance seems to be my go-to - I barely speak to either of my parents, so probably best not to take my lead 
It shouldn't be your job to convince your mother she's a good person. What would happen if you stopped doing that kind of caretaking for her? |
I am not sure that is it. She is just genuinely worried about what other people think to the point where it's becoming dysfunctional. She always asks me how my sessions go but you're right...I'll stop telling her the specifics. I don't even know when I'll be able to see a therapist since I got a job and my current therapist left. I am just very tired and I feel like everything I do and say is wrong, especially as of late since there has been family drama. I always feel like I am making a big deal out of everything and being too sensitive, and it doesn't help that my abuser always said I was too sensitive or that I took things too personally. So the point of saying all of that is that I understand completely why you rarely keep in contact with your family. I love my mom to death, but sometimes I literally don't know what to say when she asks me questions.
I'm going to take your advice if I continue seeing a therapist because the mice issue was just the straw that broke the camel's back. The issue is that she doesn't like it when I talk about anything relating to my family to my therapist...which is weird because almost all of my issues are from my family, like the abuse and stuff.
I am also thinking of not seeing a therapist anymore. Or maybe just seeing them once a month? I am just very tired. And you're right. I am under no obligation to convince my mom she's a good person. I just wish she believed it.
