Most of the time I feel like I am on an emotional roller coaster. I struggle to figure out what I should and should not be feeling.
In situations I know how I feel and I know what I want to feel but then I also tend to feel what others are feeling at that time too and I start to feel what they believe I should feel. This confusion just makes me want to shut down and so then I just go numb while trying to deal with things. Then later I have a breakdown because I held all those emotions inside of me and didn't know how to let them go.
Some point it out to me as bipolar, depressed, emotional abuse or just the struggle between trying to be what I want to be and what I think I am supposed to be. I don't know what any one thing it is, all I know is it is exhausting. I have no energy, I do not want to eat and I feel that there is a constant tug of war inside of me.