I wish LT's MC would have been good enough with boundaries -- consistent, professional, and having thought it all through in advance -- to be able to see her individually and continue with the marriage counseling. About 5 months into marriage counseling with my husband I started seeing our T individually, and we did not have any issues with this. I don't think all T's should do this, or are capable of doing this, but I think when they can, it can be helpful. I would expect that LT and her husband might actually have more time or attention when in session to focus on themselves, and meanwhile, a consistent T with good boundaries can help examine where the transference is stemming from.

Unfortunately I am not sure MC has shown that he can be that rock solid, consistent and professional guy that can handle both therapy relationships. I'm sorry LT, this is a really tough situation.

When you have had individual time with MC in the past, like the long phone call, does it make the transference stronger? It's interesting that what seemed to bring on the "love" email was something external. Yes the music may have reminded you of him, but it wasn't actually anything he did. Which makes me think it's really an idea, a concept, an idealization, something like that that your feelings stem from. Hopefully you can discover it with your T, I just feel frustrated on your behalf that it's not more possible to address it with the very person who's bringing it all to the surface-- MC!