But the same has been said about me. People have misjudged me based on the same criteria you listed. People who have long, stable friendships aren't necessarily nice, genuine people. People who come from stable, functional family homes, aren't necessarily nice, genuine people. To state that as the norm seems short-sighted, I think. '

When I was involved with a creative group a long time ago, many of the people in the group met the criteria above, but quite a few of them were horrible to me when a popular person in the group spread rumors about me that weren't true, that led to my character assassination and being socially shunned. None of those "nice people" bothered to find out the truth from me, and misjudged me based on the lies this domineering person spread about me.

You can't/shouldn't judge a book by its cover because you'll be wrong, most of the time. I never go by first impressions anymore, because people can put on a good act when they want something from you. So, just because someone appears trustworthy because they come from a good family or have gads of friends since childhood, doesn't mean that's who they really are.

I dated a guy who appeared to be perfect on the surface - great job, lots of friends, a volunteer, pursued hobbies, had money, academic credentials, large family, friendly, easy to talk to, good looking - but he was a monster to me. While we dated, he cheated on me, lied about it, and emotionally abused me to the point where I had to go into therapy afterward just to recover from dating him.

Yes, I agree with you that you should watch how people treat other people to gauge whether or not they are a good person. But like I said, the most manipulative, narcissistic personalities are masters of disguise. They can fool the most discerning person with their act, if they want to. I've been fooled plenty of times, so it takes a lot for me to trust someone now.