I'm heading down the wrong road again. I didn't know where to put this so here I am. I cut. I've been suicidal a lot this week. Sunday I just wanted to take all my pills and lay next to my mom's grave. Last night I just wanted to end it all again because...I don't know why. Anyways, I didn't do any of that. I'm in a lot of trouble. I'm trying to hold on but it don't look too good at this point. I want out of everything that's going on in my life.

I have no great advice to give anyone because I cannot even bring myself out of this depression. I'm falling fast and I can't stop this downward spiral. I don't want to be around anyone, sometimes not even my own boyfriend. I'm wanting to isolate a lot and just be alone. The survivor in me tries to reach out to others. Last night I was so tempted to just admit myself into the hospital. I can't let anyone know how weak I am, though.

Sorry, I don't mean to drag on this post...I'm just hurting.