Quote:
Originally Posted by Amyjay
Have you heard of that spoons thing? It's like everyone has so many spoons to dole out and once they've gone, that's it (I don't know why they use spoons, but that's what it is so I'll go with it). You can think of spoons like energy or something. We only have so much available to us and once we use it all up we kind of don't really function anymore! So let's say you have load of demands on you right now and you are handing out your spoons left right and center. Two spoons to look after the little one, three to deal with your sons and husband etc, a couple to take care of the house and day to day living. Right now it sounds like all your spoons are used up and there are none left over for you. At the end of each
day you've given all of your spoons out to everyone around you and you've just got nothing. You are all out of spoons.
But what if spoons are your life blood? What if people NEED at least one spoon for themselves to survive? How long can you live on nothing?
See, the other thing is, you are using all your spoons to take care of everyone else but who is giving any spoons back to you? It sounds like your counsellor might give you one or two a week. An maybe church and faith give you another couple. But are you just handing those ones back out as soon as y0u get them? Do your sons/husband/daughters-in-law ever give you any of their spoons? Do they all just happily take yours and horde them for themselves?
Sometimes we do need to spoon-feed other people in our lives. Sometimes that is the best human thing to do. But if we are constantly spoon feeding others and yet when we ourselves are spoon-less and hungry nobody returns the favor, even if they have spare ones, then it is time to rethink how many spoons we are willing to give.
It's important to keep a spoon or two so you can keep feeding yourself. Especially if no-one is stepping in to give spoons to you.
What is it that they say in the emergency drills in airplanes? Always ut on your own oxygen mask before placing one on others?There's a reason for that you know!
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I couldn't have said it better myself! Amyjay's analogy is 100% percent accurate! You can't be there for everyone 24/7 and it's not something you should feel like you have to do. I'm very similar and have had to learn the hard way many times and that just hurts. Take some time out for yourself and reward yourself for being such a good and dependable person. Go do something relaxing and if you do have coffee then, get decaff. Caffeine is bad for stress. I crave caffeine sometimes because I have sleep apnea and a little helps me to get started in the mornings but, too much will get you wound up and anxious. Just take it easy and be good to yourself.