I think transference is more like stuff from the past. Like, this person or situation is reminding me (consciously or subconsciously) of a person or situation I have encountered before, so it's bringing up old patterns or dynamics in my behavior/feelings that may or may not actually have anything to do with that person. I think I've had a brief bit of transference with my mother-in-law (who is lovely in general and very kind to me) when she wore sunglasses that made her look almost exactly like my grandmother (who can be quite hurtful in general and specifically to me). I could feel myself get quieter and more cautious about what I said during the meal when my MIL was wearing the sunglasses. It didn't have anything to do with the actual present-day relationship with my MIL, so I didn't need to deal with it with her but instead could use it as data about myself and my relational dynamics.

My T says that people do this all the time in therapy, and her job is to notice the patterns (she calls it "the dance") and to be thoughtful about how her behavior and reactions can re-write old scripts by not repeating past hurts from significant people in the client's life. And I think potentially by helping them practice more healthy or useful patterns.