You're not alone
So glad you're happy with your new man! I'm back with my ex (he broke up with his gf), that's my fatal ex, before ex I was posting about here. Now I know it was always him. Seems like I never stopped loving him at all, but just like you I feel the need to hurt my ex as he hurt me.
So I don't have anything helpful to say, but maybe it feels better knowing you're not the only one feeling like this